As some of the readers will already know, I made a presentation of this list before and I will be re-using it for this article. This time, I plan to add more information and commentary on the books I will be talking about. Now, let me take you to the world of Pinterest messed up girl books, the books that are so painful, they will make you question the are the limits of humanity is. If you have your coffee is ready, let's get started.
1. The Bell Jar by Slyvia Plath
I think you've heard this before, do not read this book if you are feeling unwell already. Many people have told me that this book has worsened their mental health when they were in a bad mood already. When I first read this book myself, I was in such a bad place that when I finished the book I was left with a feeling of familiarity, relatability and an overall "girl, I get you so well, I wish you got better". Slyvia plath is one of those rare authors that gives me this feeling of "I get you so much, being a girl is so painful." and reminds me of the universal experience of being a woman in a society that tries everything to follow its cut out path for you, "Get married, have children." Although I don't like her all that much because she is at the end of day considered a white feminist, she is still an important figure for me because this book has helped me realize a lot about growing up, dealing with mental illnesses and trying to escape from the path that society has put up for you. Make sure you take the right lessons from this book, that is life is indeed hard but you are in a world of infinite possibilities.
2. No longer human by Osamu Dazai
If The bell jar made you feel disturbed and unwell, I would not recommend this to you. This book although keeping the same down to earth tone like The bell jar, is ten times more disturbing than it. I assure you that reading this book will make you question the limits of who is considered human, what is good and what is evil and what are the origins of evil. This book has left me with in tears, once again, I empathised with the main character too much and that has just left me with so much confusion, frustration and shock. The story of the main character begans from a place that just hits home. And then it quickly escalates to one of the most gruesome stories I've ever read. Definitely not recommending it to people who are easily disturbed and to those who are triggered by assault, s*xual abuse, death, su*cide, misogyny, misanthropy.
3. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Now, this book is on the easier side when it's compared to the rest in this list so far but that does not mean it's an easy read too. It is less disturbing but it has too many ethical dilemmas to study. What is human? Is the creator at fault or the creature when the creature is misbehaving? Is there such thing as an unethical scientific discovery? and so on... I will leave you to create your own philosophical questions when reading this cautionary tale. It is a tale of othering, of being alienated and rejected from society. If you're like me, you will find that the monster is a lot different then it was ever portrayed in movies and more like... yourself? I actually wrote a joke article on that. I love the character of the monster, he is somehow reborn with an incredible self-awareness and intelligence. If you're unsure if you would enjoy Frankenstein, here's a quote that pretty much explains what is happening in the book.
Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay To Mould me man? Did I solicit thee, From darkness to promote me?
This is actually a poem read by the monster from another book called Paradise Lost, which was Frankenstein's author Mary Shelley inspired a lot by. There is an overwhelming amount of content to the book despite it being around 200 pages, yet it's by far the best book I've read and I've never seen such an enjoyable reading experience. It's fine if you want to do a surface reading and just read it for fun, it is a very brief book, but it still has an incredible lot to study if you want to study this book. As a gothic horror fan I was more satisfied. The book does an excellent job at taking you through the perspective of Victor Frankenstein and his monster. I guarantee you that you will not regret reading this book, trust me it's literally my favorite book.
4. The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Here's a fun fact to get you started, this short story is literally the inspiration behind the hit analog horror series, the backrooms. My number 2 favorite (after the black cat by edgar allan poe!) is this masterpiece by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, a woman who spoke out for rights of women and wrote this as a way to stop the Victorian mental health cure called the rest cure, usually given to female patients, taking them away from their homes and depriving them from ways self-expression as a means to cure them from mental illnesses. As the title of the story suggests, it's about yellow wallpaper, which drives our main character insane. This story takes you to the secretly kept diary of a woman who is under the rest cure after showing symptoms Postpartum depression. As you watch the events happen through this monologue, you see the world from the view of this mentally ill woman and are left to believe what parts of the narration you believe is true. A really short yet captivating read that is beyond words.
5. The narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nanctucket By Edgar Allan Poe
The name is a mouthful, but this is another read that will leave your jaw open at the bravery and strength of the people who have been on this ship. This book gave me a fear of sea and since that day I have avoided ships and boats. The recent titanic submarine incident reminded me of this book again, so if you already have a fear of sinking ships and getting lost in water, this book will make you never touch water again. Our main characters, Arthur Gordon Pym and Augustus who snuck into a ship face incredible challenges that will make you question the limits of survival. I never had to look away from a book before, but this one was so captivating that it managed to make me close the book, take a walk and go back because I was too curious what was going to happen. I definitely had chills reading this book and I would recommend this as much as any work of Edgar Allan Poe. Trust me, this is my favorite author lol. 6. Bonus books!!!
I also recommend The call of cthulhu for another adventure that will make you never touch water again. The poems of edgar allan poe for some fun time (crying) and the phantom of the opera as a supplement to the need for the monster from frankenstein but hot. To sum up, these books are guaranteed to mess you up and if you are sensitive, I do not recommend them to you, but if you are bored from young adult or whatever genre you've been reading and want to make a change, try these and you will go back! Have fun reading.
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